she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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