I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
