what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
