Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
