people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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