I could have mohawked her pubes.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
