My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
