dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
