Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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