he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
