My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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