Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
