went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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