it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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