I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
