Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
