She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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