you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
