Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
