The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
