Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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