too bad you live with your parents still
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
