Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
