i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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