Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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