i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
