i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
