Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
