Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
