Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
this is an emotional support booty call
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
