That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
