Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
