Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
