it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
