In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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