update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
