Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
