i don't like sucking hair
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
