Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
