I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
