Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
