I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
