my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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