Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
