everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
