I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
