Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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