Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
