we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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