i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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