Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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