whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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